Theos-Talk Archives (November 1997 Message tl00370)

*Burp*...Aw, Chuckie, those are supposed to be jokes?  I thought they were
the official Thanksgiving dinner conduct!  Some things you might want to do
for that great holiday togetherness:

Slap mashed potatoes in your arm pits to the tune of "Over the River and
Through the Woods".

Stick the wish bone in your nose and spike your hair with gravy for that
Sex Pistol look.

Fill the bathtub with mashed potatoes and gravy, call it the mash pit, and
have a nude wrestling contest.

Decorate your face with mashed potatoes.  Gobs of mashed potatoes on your
chin and you can be Santa Claus!

Become the incredible snot family by running mashed potatoes down from your
nostrils.

Have a food fight!  Use cranberry relish for that realistic gratuitous violence!

Have a who can smile the grossest contest.  Stuff your face with creative
colorful concoctions and smile widely!  A little forceful laughing can make
it even more fun.

Try them!  Why force yourself to sit through another boring dinner
conversation?  I thought of and applied those things out of sheer
desperation.  I tell you, no more Prozac for me!

Happy Thanksgiving. ;o)

Thoa

>Just got these great ideas
>
>Uncle Chuckie
>
>Todays Jokes............
>
>>Things To Do Thanksgiving Day If You Want To Leave Early
>>
>>- Announce that you would like to start a new family tradition, and
>>proceed
>>to take off your clothes at the dinner table.
>>
>>- Open the oven, shove hunks of Velveeta into the turkey while it cooks.
>>Tell mom it adds the coolest flavor.
>>
>>- Shoot olive pits at Grandpa's glasses (just pinch them in your fingers
>>and they FLY!)
>>
>>- Whenever someone at the table says a word beginning with the letter R,
>>make a loud "BUZZ"ing noise.
>>
>>- When it's your turn to state what you are thankful for, say " Fantasy
>>football and ESPN," or " Macy's and Neiman's "
>>
>>- Suck your cranberry sauce loudly through a straw.
>>
>>- Hold your nose while you eat.
>>
>>- Recite the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey
>>farms.
>>
>>-Mid-meal, turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't
>>notice,
>>you were worried for nothing".
>>
>>- Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in
>>the
>>blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that you've
>>got
>>a new fear of choking.
>>
>>-Twitch a lot and nervously tell the person next to you, "THE SAFETY IS
>>OFF", while you hold your pocket.
>>
>>- When you arrive, promise that your date won't be more than an hour
>>late,
>>he/she just has to wait for the warden to get together all the necessary
>>release forms, and then they are free to go.
>>
>>-Sit at the "children's table" and suggest using Beavis and Butt-head as
>>good role models.