Theos-Talk Archives (October 1995 Message tl00256)

Murray:<Maybe Jerry's experience could be seen as a breaking of a form
(Christianity as he held it) followed by expansion into a larger space,
theosophy etc.>

Yes, but the forms themselves probably don't matter much.
All we human beings can possibly know must be formalized into a
model of some kind in order to bring it into human understanding. In
other words, the human mind only knows the exoteric. The esoteric
must be lived, but we can't stick it into a box or put labels on it without
turning it into more exoteric stuff. If we only have an exoteric model,
then when death faces us, or when we must confront our own mortality,
our models are sometimes caught lacking. In such cases, we usually
must squirm around and seek out better models, or possibly place
some improvements on the old one. In my case, I knew with inner
certainty that I needed a new model. The Christian model couldn't
explain my experience of my own mortality nor alleviate the induced
fear such confrontation generated. I had simply lost faith. I spent many
years of searching before finding the Buddhist and theosophical models
that have brought me comfort and through which, together with some
esoteric experiences, I have been able to accept my mortality and explain
my experiences, both inner and outer. Until such time as these need
overhaul, I am content.

Jerry S.