Theos-Talk Archives (January 1999 Message tl00115)

In a message dated 1/9/99 12:01:28 AM Eastern Standard Time, Kym writes:

<< I have
 read that grieving for one who has passed over can actually hinder their
 journey - that the grief of those 'left behind' can serve as a kind of tie
 to the earthly realm for the deceased one. >>

Kym, I don't have any information from the "other side," or from authorities,
but I do believe that a grief period is a healthy thing, and a necessary phase
for the eventual healing of the living person.  You are missing what you had,
not trying to stand in the way.  Letting go seems to be a gradual, organic
process, a process of adjustment, disintegration and reintegration, and
doesn't happen overnight - like a tree that has a branch cut off and grows a
new one - and I think it can be more complete if allowed to run its natural
course, than if one stifles the feelings - they linger under the surface much
longer that way and can wreak havoc in negative ways if not allowed to
"breathe".  I'm speaking from the experience of having lost my father rather
suddenly.  Although I was profoundly aggrieved and shocked, I also received a
very strong message that he was "in the right place" and all was well with the
world.  So I believe that my feelings of loss and of missing my father did not
hinder him.  They were simply a measure of how much I love him.  Hope this
helps.
Christine Hanson