happy holidays
Dec 25, 1997 08:39 AM
by Drpsionic
Hi folks,
well, here I am, trapped in West Allis Wisconsin among the dweebs and I got
this from another list.
enjoy.
Chuck the Heretic
The 12 Days of the Apocolypse
Since the holidays are upon us again, our thoughts of late have
probably
turned to gift-giving, feasting, and festive tunes. However, as we
approach the millenium, some have been shouting dire warnings of the
impending apocalypse.
Curious as to what all the hub-(beelze)bub was about, I decided to go to
the source of these dire predictions, the Book of Revelation. I can't
say that I was able to make much sense of it, but being in a Seasons
Greetings kind of mood, I decided to set it to music.
THE TWELVE DAYS OF THE APOCALYPSE
by Barth Richards
with some help from the Book of Revelation
(notes and references follow)
On the first day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
A Beast rising out of the sea.
On the second day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
Two olive trees
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
On the third day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
Three unclean spirits,
Two olive trees,
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
On the fourth day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
Four horsemen riding,
Three unclean spirits,
Two olive trees,
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
On the fifth day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
Five fallen kings,
Four horsemen riding,
Three unclean spirits,
Two olive trees,
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
On the sixth day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
Six hundred sixty-six,
Five fallen kings,
Four horsemen riding,
Three unclean spirits,
Two olive trees,
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
On the seventh day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
A book with seven seals,
Six hundred sixty-six,
Five fallen kings,
Four horsemen riding,
Three unclean spirits,
Two olive trees,
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
On the eighth day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
A besat who is the eighth,
A book with seven seals,
Six hundred sixty-six,
Five fallen kings,
Four horsemen riding,
Three unclean spirits,
Two olive trees,
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
On the ninth day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
The ninth foundation of topaz,
A beast who is the eighth,
A book with seven seals,
Six hundred sixty-six,
Five fallen kings,
Four horsemen riding,
Three unclean spirits,
Two olive trees,
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
On the tenth day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
A dragon with ten horns,
The ninth foundation of topaz,
A beast who is the eighth,
A book with seven seals,
Six hundred sixty-six,
Five fallen kings,
Four horsemen riding,
Three unclean spirits,
Two olive trees,
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
On the eleventh day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
The reed from Chapter Eleven,
A dragon with ten horns,
The ninth foundation of topaz,
A beast who is the eighth,
A book with seven seals,
Six hundred sixty-six,
Five fallen kings,
Four horsemen riding,
Three unclean spirits,
Two olive trees,
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
On the twelfth day of the apocalypse my true love gave to me
A city with twelve gates,
The reed from Chapter Eleven,
A dragon with ten horns,
The ninth foundation of topaz,
A beast who is the eighth,
A book with seven seals,
Six hundred sixty-six,
Five fallen kings,
Four horsemen riding,
Three unclean spirits,
Two olive trees,
And a Beast rising out of the sea.
=====================================================================
Notes:
A Beast rising out of the sea
Rev. 13:1, "And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise
up
out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns
ten
crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy."
I'm picturing a ten-headed animal with a letter on each head....Wait a
minute, B L A S P H E M Y, that's only nine letters. Perhaps the
tenth
head is reserved for an exclamation point.
Two olive trees
Rev. 11:3-4, "And I will give power unto my two witnesses, and they
shall
prophesy a thousand two hundred and threescore days, clothed in
sackcloth.
These are the two olive trees, and the two candlesticks standing before
the God of the earth."
More than three years in the same clothes? (Sackcloth, no less.) Those
boys are gonna be pretty ripe by the time this is over. They're
probably
going to want to use those candlesticks to burn their clothes, because
not even dry cleaning is going to be able to salvage them.
Perhaps the power given unto the two witnesses is a miraculous
deodorant.
Strong enough for a man, but made for a witness (whose been wearing the
same clothes for twelve hundred and sixty days).
Three unclean spirits
Rev 16:13, "And I saw three unclean spirits like frogs come out of the
mouth of the dragon, and out of the mouth of the beast, and out of the
mouth of the false prophet."
Oh my. A terrifying prospect. Not venemous serpents. Not huge
beasts
of prey with razor-sharp claws and scythe-like fangs. No. Frogs.
Hear
their terrible croaking and despair.
Four horsemen riding
Rev. 6:1-8, "And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I
heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying,
Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on
him had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth
conquering, and to conquer. And when he had opened the second seal, I
heard the second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another
horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take
peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there
was given unto him a great sword. And when he had opened the third
seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a
black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand.
And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of
wheat for a penny, and three measures of barley for a penny; and see
thou hurt not the oil and the wine. And when he had opened the fourth
seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I
looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was
Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over
the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and
with death, and with the beasts of the earth."
OK, the four horsemen are a pretty impressive image, but wouldn't there
be some confusion. I mean, there are four horsemen on four horses: War
riding a white horse, Chaos on a red horse, Famine on a black horse,
and
Death on a pale horse. How were they supposed to tell the white horse
and the pale horse apart? I can just hear it now:
"Hey, I'm War. I've got the white horse, so I get the cool weapons and
stuff."
"No, *I'm* War. You're Death. You can have Hell following you. *I*
get
the cool weapons."
"No way! I've got the white horse, so *I'm* War!"
"Nu-uh! *I've* got the white horse. You've got the *pale* horse."
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
Five fallen kings
Rev. 17:10, "And there are seven kings: five are fallen, and one is,
and the other is not yet come; and when he cometh, he must continue a
short space."
Maybe they tripped. Some say they were pushed.
Six hundred sixty-six
Rev. 13:18, "Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the
number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is
Six hundred threescore and six."
And the concept that would spawn the cover art of a thousand heavy
metal albums was born.
A book with seven seals
Rev. 5:1, "And I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne a
book written within and on the backside, sealed with seven seals."
If they were worried about people thumbing through it without buying
it,
maybe they should have shrink-wrapped it or just kept it behind the
counter.
A beast who is the eighth
Rev. 17:11, "And the beast that was, and is not, even he is the eighth,
and is of the seven, and goeth into perdition."
OK. I'm pretty much at a loss with this one. Though I think Perdition
is in Ohio. If it's near Sandusky, I guess that goething there would
be
a pretty frightening prospect.
The ninth foundation of topaz
Rev. 21:19-20, "And the foundations of the wall of the city were
garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation
was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth,
an emerald; the fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh,
chrysolite; the eighth, beryl; THE NINTH, a topaz; the tenth, a
chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst."
Pretty lame, I'll admit, but it is the only time that the number nine
is mentioned in the Book of Revelation. Believe me, I looked.
A dragon with ten horns
Rev. 12:3, "And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a
great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns
upon his heads."
So, there's one horn each on four heads and two on the other three, or
are
there three on one head, two on another, and one each on the remaining
five? Hold on, perhaps there are three horns on one head, three horns
on
another, and one each on the other five heads....Oh, no, that would be
eleven horns....Wait a minute. What if....Hmmm, I need to get a
pencil and work this out.
The reed from Chapter Eleven
Rev. 11:1, "And there was given me a reed like unto a rod: and the
angel stood, saying, Rise, and measure the temple of God, and the
altar, and them that worship therein."
I know. It's even lamer than the topaz one, but it was either this or
another foundation.
A city with twelve gates
Rev. 21:10-12, "And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and
high
mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending
out of heaven from God, Having the glory of God: and her light was like
unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal;
And had a wall great and high, and had twelve gates, and at the gates
twelve angels, and names written thereon, which are the names of the
twelve tribes of the children of Israel:"
Descending out of heaven? Woe to whatever city is beneath Jerusalem
when it gets dropped out of the sky, I guess. Well, that's urban
renewal
for you.
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