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Apr 24, 1997 01:06 PM
by Thoalight

It seems we are having difficulties with definitions.  In order to clarify a
few things, I am posting a dictionary of obscure words:

CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n.  The act, when vacuuming,of
running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching
over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the
vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v.  To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped
on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will 'remove' all the

ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n.  A rescue vehicle which can only beseen in the
rear view mirror.

EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n.  Gangly people sitting in front of you at
the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n.  The actions of two people maneuvering for one
armrest in a movie theater.

ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n.  The mistaken notion that the more
you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

FRUST (frust) n.  The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto
the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally
decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n.  Manhandling the"open here"
spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal'

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n.  The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole
purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n.  The affliction of dialing a phone number and
forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup' kus) n.  The moist residue left on a window after a dog
presses its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n.  The act of always letting
the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only
six inches away.

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