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Re: The friendship thing

Dec 11, 1996 09:57 PM
by kymsmith

Tom wrote:

>Kym, if you said that you thought men and women were equal overall, but that
>men were superior in X ways and that women were superior in Y ways, and
>someone else insisted, as well as publicly expressed the opinion, that you
>thought that men were inferior, would you want that individual as a friend?

No, you are right, if a woman came up to me and said she was inherently
superior to a man, I don't see a friendship forming.  I have never believed
that men were inferior to women. I've re-read my posts and would like you to
please point out to me where you think I said "men were inferior."

>If anyone deliberately and maliciously distorts the meaning of what others
>say, as you have of what I have said, I hope the TS does not listen to them.

I've never "deliberately and maliciously" distorted anything.  You need not
"hope" anymore about the TS, they don't listen.

>Since I have said that I thought men and women are basically equal, and you
>have so strenuously rejected what I have said, I conclude that you are
>fighting for inequality.

Well, then. . .Tom and Kym have made it known that they think each other
guilty of the same crime.  Which may make us more in agreement on a subject
than anyone else on the list.  The freakiness of which there are no words to
describe. . .

On being a friend:

>You were not willing to accept me as such.  You prefer falsely
>characterizing what I have said.

In the beginning I was, although, in all honesty, the very first post you
put up made me nervous - the one before you declared emotion was a feminine
weakness.  As a woman, I find your thought processes very, very frightening
- I've seen the harm those thoughts have caused.  And so have you.  You
espouse ideas that spark terror in some women - "women want to be dominated"
- how many times have we heard that from a man who's been arrested for rape,
or for beating his wife?

You have noticed, I hope, that my "sexism" charges are not saved for you,
others have had them directed their way - so to think you are a specific
target is in error.  I assure you that you are not.  And the others find me
as unpleasant as you do - forgetting too perhaps, that their words (or lack
of them) cut just as deeply.  And I am at a complete loss as to how to get
them and you to understand. . .everything has been said, all arguments (many
far more elegant than mine) have been made. . .and gender-exclusive language
continues to be used (in a very recent post - not yours), and sexism
continues to be practiced and considered appropriate.

I am aware I am running a huge risk of being labeled emotional, therefore
weak, by revealing my "fear" of men who think as you do.  So be it. . .I
just don't know what else to tell you. . .except the truth.  I'll accept the

pax vobiscum,


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