Theos-Talk Archives (June 1996 Message tl00905)

For those of you who are planning on attending the annual family reunion in a
couple of weeks, there a few things you should be aware of that you will not
get from the AT.

1. DO NOT DRINK THE WATER AT OLCOTT.  This applies both to the stuff that
comes out of the tap and the water coolers.  They changed drinking water
services and the water now tastes very strange and we cannot be sure why.  Go
across the street to the big Jewel and by bottled water.

2.  Eat as few meals at Olcott as possible.  The food at convention ranges
from bad to inedible.  Two years ago Gerda ate several meals there in a row
and had such a bad case of constipation that we almost had to use some
leftover July 4th fireworks for suppositories.  There are several inexpensive
eateries near the headquarters where even you of the vegetable eating
persuasion can be safely fed.

3.  Do not stay up too late.  John likes to get to bed early and after 10:30
he will run everyone not billeted in the main building out and expect
everyone in the building to be heading for bed.  Try to avoid loud snoring
and NO LAUGHING!!!

4.  Avoid unauthorized mirth.  It makes the old folks nervous.  If you have a
small group meeting, expect to be joined by at least one board member who
will probably be wired for sound. (I'm not kidding.)

5.  Keep your keys with you at all times.  If you get locked out John will
become quite upset if he hears the doorbell, especially after curfew.

6.  Carry a small bible with you in case you are off the property and run
into the natives of Wheaton.  They tend to be fundamentalists and if you can
blend in with them you have a better chance of not being lynched.

7.  If you are travelling to Midway airport, do not, ever, use public
transportation no matter what Jeff says.  The natives in that part of the
city are not friendly and the rats are not vegetarians.  If you make the
wrong gang sign you might get killed.

Gerda and I will be at the entire convention so if you need any help, do not
hesitate to ask.

Chuck the Heretic