Theos-Talk Archives (April 1996 Message tl01088)

I'm re-sending this because it hasn't showed up in the theos-l digests I
received since originally sending it on 23 April. I've changed a couple of
bits, too. Sorry if some others got it the first time.
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Paul wrote>
>So, a question I wish to throw out for discussion: What major
>recent changes in thoughts, feelings, intuitions or sensations do we
>have to share in relation to Theosophy?  Is anyone out there
>deeply engaged in a *transformative* process that might inspire
>someone else?  What is changing inside your head and heart?
>Frankly, I am sick of reading people reiterate the same things
>they've fervently believed for 5, 10, 15 or 30 years.  OK, I
>already have figured out where you are *coming from*.  But
>where are you going?

Then Liesel>
>When you ask for a statement from anyone who's undergoing a transformation,
>it just occurred to me that I'm just undergoing a very major one. But it
>also makes me vulnerable, so I'll be darned if I'd expose my vulnerability
>on theos-l & let someone hack away on it. But I think that maybe I'll try
>medit-l & see what kind of a response I get.


Paul, I'm glad you've asked these questions.

And Liesel, your words fit what's going on with me remarkably well.

Yes, I feel that I'm engaged in a major transformative process - one that
has me striving, discovering, outgrowing, and seeing once-solid
descriptions gradually turn into vapour. And, like Liesel, I feel a certain
vulnerability about trying to put the centre of it into words, but more
because it feels only part-formed, in mid-birth, sweet and subtle so that
words would surely hide more than they express. A bit like trying to capture
a butterfly with a net before its wings have fully unfolded.

To say a little about it, the idea of unity is gripping me, filling me and
spreading out to rework the whole world I live in. Unity understood not only
as being embedded in the single magnetic source of all, but as an
astonishing, unending network of connectedness that I discover more about
every day. Not
only outwards, as it were, but "vertically", like between the great planes of
nature as well as within each one.

One of the powerful manifestations of this sense of unity, is a drive to
be more consistent in my everyday life, for example, a growing need to
make daily transactions and relationships more in tune with the world of
insight that theosophy illuminates for us.

It's almost as if I've been travelling over a countryside at night, using
a flashlight to look at the map from time to time, then becoming aware that
the sky is gradually lightening as dawn approaches and, gee wizz, I didn't
realise the land looked that good. Then you look back at the map and feel
glad you had it, but, well, it is after all only a map.

It's not all sweetness and light either. I'm making a good number of
unflattering discoveries about myself too. At my age, you'd think that they
had all been made! Hah!

Well, I've allowed myself to wax a little lyrical, but it was nice trying
to put a little of this into words.

Thanks, Paul.

And thanks too, to all the other contributors to this one. all so different.


Murray
Member TI & TS in NZ