Theos-Talk Archives (October 1999 Message tl00013)

Alan Writes:

Good grief!  This isn't about statistics, it's about history.  It is
only in very recent times that the promise to OBEY her husband has been
made *optional* (but no longer usually used) in the Marriage Vows of the
Church of England.  For centuries before the 20th (minimum) such
obedience was both expected and was the norm in British society, as in
many other cultures. AND, it was given.  In my own 1930s childhood, many
a request to my mother was answered by "You'll have to ask your father,"
and what Dad said went. Even in not-so-old American movies we see the
standard stereotype of the dominant male who thows his beloved across
his lap and gives her a good (?) spanking.  (I have heard rumours that
there are men who *pay* for the reverse of this procedure, so perhaps
there is a kind of balancing factor ..... er ..... probably not: the man
is simply paying to get his own way.  Life gets complicated, don' it?)

Historically, in some cultures, wives could be bought and sold.  Go
read.

Sigh.

Alan@ambain.softnet.co.uk
http://www.soft.net.uk/ambain/

----- Original Message -----
> From: <Hazarapet@aol.com>
> Date: Sunday, October 03, 1999 10:23 PM
> Subject: Re: theos-l digest: September 30, 1999

> In a message dated 10/3/99 2:32:57 PM Central Daylight Time,
> kymsmith@micron.net writes:
>
> > Sources?  Well, as far as marriage serving as an "early death" for
women, a
> >  simple jaunt through any old cemetery will speak of that.  The
number of
> >  married women (as noted on the tombstone) will show that the
majority of
> >  them were under 30.  The tombstones of men, on the other hand, show
a much
> >  longer life span.
> >
> I talked to my granddaughter about this.  She is a MD, a feminist, and
a
> mid-wife OB.  She said there are no strong figures on spousal abuse
before
> the mid-20th century.  And there are not any strong figures about such
things
> and families for the more distant past because (1) they didn't have
> statistics until 1950 (Pascal started to develop the field) and (2)
our
> knowledge of the common family is extremely fragmentary.  She also
said, in
> light of this observation by you, that the tombstones reflect that
death by
> childbirth is the explanation for the high incidence of women dying
before
> they are 30 just as the higher number of tombstones found for children
> reflect the high mortality rate from disease of children.  To infer
wife or
> child abuse because most women and children died before men is
unwarranted.
> She suggests researching it a bit more and/or contact any number of
support
> groups if you have been a victim.
>
> Grigor
>
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