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looking for the good in others

Nov 09, 1998 09:32 PM
by Eldon B Tucker


[rebuking at Dallas:]

>Dallas, you are the ultimate phoney.  It is CLEAR that the only people you
>"respect" or even believe deserve "respect" are those that ONLY AGREE WITH

This seems like a personal attack, a form of lashing out in anger,
rather than a kind-hearted pointing out of someone's shortcomings
in a way that can lead to constructive results. It's customary to
speak of shortcomings in the form of "our problems", giving both
personal examples as well as pointing out examples of the other's

Is it correct to assume that Dallas doesn't have your respect
because he consistently disagrees with you?

>If anyone dare question, examine, or disagree with your Saintly and
>oh-so-Holy HPB and elusive Masters, your mind goes into lock-down.

There's a difference between questioning, examining, and disagreeing
with someone, and with mocking, flippantly dismissing, and expressing
continual dislike of someone. We're in mixed company. Some hold Blavatsky
and her works in high regard, and feel a genuine sense of reverence for
what she's done. Others don't like her ideas and think "baloney!" when
they hear her quoted. Even if you may not like Blavatsky's ideas, you
can still show that you're aware of the respect and esteem than many
hold for her.

>Your ability to be more machine than human is mind-boggling.  It is evident
>by your response - or actually lack of personal response - to Paul that
>what he had to say meant nothing to you.

Another thing comes into play here. It's something that I've seen 
a bit of first hand in a seminar put on by Jerry Hejka-Ekins. The
idea is fairly simply and obvious, but it's easy for any of us to
forget it at times. The idea is that different people have different
psychological types, and if you don't understand the types and where
other people are coming from, you'll continually misread and unfairly
judge them. Dallas may fit in the category of the "rational type,"
and perhaps you're another type, and cannot understand his way of
seeing things?

>I have seen you respond to people who express frustration and a wish 
>to communicate in your cold-hearted and dismissive way over and over 
>and over.

A "rational" type personality may seem "cold hearted" to a feeling type,
but that comes from a basic misreading of people of a different temperament.

>You are a master at driving people
>AWAY from the lists and Theosophy itself; making people fight feelings of
>being attacked, ashamed, unwelcome, and unwanted.

Any approach that someone takes may appeal to certain temperaments and
be repelling to others. That doesn't make it wrong. The challenge is for
*all of us* to develop greater appreciation of each other's natures and
allow for the peaceful coexistence of other ways of doing things -- without
feeling driven away, nor hating anyone or anything, etc. 

>You have been told how much you have hurt people repeatedly, by others 
>besides me; yet you remain completely unmoved.

Any writing may seem brilliant or inspiring to some and monstrous to
others. We see it all the time on the theosophical mailing lists. Take,
for example, the discussion of the history of the theosophical movement,
including the life and influence of C. W. Leadbeater, we get mixed reactions.

If you want to be helpful to Dallas, you need to suggest things he can
do to improve his writing style, and say them in the mode of "this is
how your writing affects me, as it is currently done, and if you were
to change it in that way, you'd really have a more positive influence."

If you think that there is room for improvement in Dallas' writing style,
is there something useful you can say about it? As to your writing style,
I suspect you have room for improvement too. Do you think you've perfected
the art of lucid communication, or would you likewise welcome feedback 
from him or others as to how you might improve too?

>I believe, in all honesty and seriousness, that it was minds such as yours
>that were present and active in the times of the Inquisition and Crusades.  

I see a lot of character faults around, in various degrees, in all of
us. I think it's better, though, to enjoy the good in others rather
than judge, brand, and shame people for their faults.

-- Eldon

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