Theos-Talk Archives (August 1998 Message tl00003)

Here is an interesting post from Krishnamurti maillist. Any feedback?

mkr

	After an initial reading, the writings of Krishnamurti seem
straightforward.  He advocates "choiceless awareness," and says that this
may result in a quiet mind, allowing Reality to enter.  He isn't specific
about what this Reality is, which is probably for the best ("the Tao that
can be told is not the eternal Tao").  However, I would like to discuss
lesser "realities" - the bathwater that comes with the baby, so to speak.  I
would like advice on how to deal with these in a manner consistent with
Krishnamurti's teaching.

	I realize that the following will appear bizarre, if not psychotic;
I can only ask that you assume the truth of what I relate for purposes of
discussion.  Last September, I became involved with a group that follows the
teachings of George Gurdjieff.  Their meditation practice involved "sitting"
for half an hour and sensing parts of the body one by one.  By November, I
was experiencing an inflow of energy - which is one of the aims of the
practice.  However, later that month, and well into February of this year, I
began to experience invisible hands and arms touching me, gently guiding my
movements, working on me (injecting some kind of material into my head;
spreading a granular material on my back and legs), and caressing me.  I
thought these entities were helpers of some kind.  However, just before
Christmas, *some* of the hands began to sexually manipulate me.  And after
that, they became generally mischievous, if not obnoxious.

	I've left this Gurdjieff group and have decided that simple
awareness without specific techniques might be better for me. There is more
to tell, but I'd like to leave it there for now and move on to my questions.
(I'd be happy to go into more detail by private email.)

	I remember K saying that techniques will produce their own results,
and I suppose it's possible that the technique I used generated or summoned
the entities I describe, but didn't K himself deal with intelligent,
non-physical individuals?  Wasn't that a feature of his "process"?  I also
remember reading that K casually remarked to a friend as they sat in a
garden that he could see a "fairy" dancing nearby.  Finally, I have read
that K told intimates that sometimes "evil" can be present, that it tends to
come when mentioned, and that in such an event the area has to be
"cleansed."

	As I practice awareness, along with centering prayer (a form of
contemplative prayer), I continue to feel occasional touches, as well as the
presence of some kind of entity (for instance, sitting on my bed or a yoga
mat, I can feel it walking around, depressing the surface as it moves).
Now, I'm not at all interested in a relationship with these entities.
Neither do I wish to obsess about them.  I realize that they are a
distraction.  But should I simply maintain awareness of them?  My sense is
that, when I give them attention, they know it and become more aggressive.
This is a dilemma for me, because if I withhold attention, I'm maintaining
resistance to "what is."

	In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that I've seen
three psychiatrists since mid-January.  The first one told me that my
experiences were hypnotically induced.  The second one, a Moslem, told me
after 4 sessions that he didn't think I was schizophrenic or otherwise
psychotic because I evidenced no thought disorder and suggested I see a
Catholic priest for exorcism.  The third has diagnosed me with
schizoaffective disorder.   My guess is that the cause of my experiences is
not psychosis, although I have continued psychiatric treatment to "cover my
bets."

	So what can you all suggest?  What does one do when "what is" is
bizarre, and one's spiritual practice has opened one to other realities?

Tim Mulligan