Theos-Talk Archives (November 1997 Message tl00170)

In a message dated 97-11-11 10:15:35 EST, you write:

To Nicole, 

Greetings:

<<  "You ask such good thought provoking questions and comments
 I must strain my brain to think of the reply."

 Sorry, didn't want to be provoking.>>

Being provoked is one of our best ways to learn lessons.  Thank you.

 <<" *Example:  A woman may stay in an abusive relationship with a man or her
 husband for years because she is *obsessed* with her love for this person.
  Allowing him to be irresponsible."

 That's a very good example to discuss and here I feel we come to the point
 I thought we might have misunderstood.

 That example-woman is not at all *obsessed* with love, but might
 unconsiously feel that the example-he doesn't love her though hates her
 because his own personality didn't have the chance to develop properly.
 It's not  o n l y   the woman allowing him to be irresponsible, it's also
 him preferring to be irresponsible because it allows him to feel protected
 through her as he was as a child through his mother while hiding his
 feelings of fear from women in general.

 If you compare the above to history, Nero, Julius Cäsar, Stalin, Hitler etc.
 were like this while  Goethe for example was not. Rudolph Steiner for
 instance was also a fearer but compensated through religion and this
 might be a reason why HPB didn't come along with him anymore.

 I think its exactly the above fear where the wars, sects and dogmas are
 coming from. One can even not condemn them in the end or do you
 condemn someone because he/she is afraid of something and compensates
 his/her fears?  >>

Excellent point that FEAR.  Fear is usually the root of  most problems, oddly
enough.  The undercurrent I detected, correct me if I'm wrong, is fear issues
based on the need for control or ego problems in male/female relationships.
 This is a definite problem in interactions.  I have discovered that unless
the female is willing to behave subserviently or allow the man to direct her
there is an altercation.  But this shouldn't be confused with the issue of
unconditional love.  We all have a lower nature and frequently women WANT to
give their power away to another.  When a woman exhibits her  *own power* she
than is subject to a whole slew of other problems and epithets.  The
prognosis for relationships with both people being able to share equal power
is not good.  Not impossible.  It takes an exceptional man and woman to
interact at that level.  It seems to me we need to transmute these lower
natures and problems to be able to develop unconditional love without those
emotional strings or games.  This can be a whole subject relating to
spirituality and relationships but I'm not sure if we should explore that
here. 

Namaste, 

Catherine