Theos-Talk Archives (November 1997 Message tl00055)

Another one in the category of "Sound Familiar?"  (-:), -JRC

>>The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by
>>physicists at the University of California, Berkeley. The element,
>>tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and
>>thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have:
>>
>>                           1 neutron
>>                         125 assistant neutrons
>>                          75 vice neutrons, and
>>                         111 assistant vice neutrons
>>
>>This gives it an atomic mass of 312. The 312 particles are held together
>>by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles
>>called morons.
>>
>>Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
>>chemically detected as it impedes every action with which it comes in
>>contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium
>>caused one reaction to take four days to complete when it would have
>>normally occurred in less than one second.
>>
>>Administratium, like all trans-Uraninimic elements (those past Uranium)
>>is radioactive. It has a normal half-life of approximately three years,
>>at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a
>>reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant
>>vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that atomic mass
>>actually increases after each reorganization.
>>
>>Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs
>>naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to amass at certain points such as
>>government agencies, large corporations and universities and can usually
>>be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.
>>
>>Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any
>>level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction
>>where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine
>>how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but
>>results to date are not promising.