Theos-Talk Archives (October 1997 Message tl00079)

>  Why did the chicken cross the road?  -- answered by various famous
>  people.
> 
> Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
>  more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
>  
> Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
> Chicken did not cross the road
> 
> Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
> anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking
> around all over the place anyway?"
>  
> Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will
> not only cross roads, but it will lay eggs, file your important documents
> AND balance your checkbook. Unfortunately, when it divides 3 by 2 it gets
> 1.4999999999.
>  
> Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
> But is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom have we
> overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
>  
> Charles Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
> selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to
> cross
> roads.
> 
> Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
> Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good
> enough for us.
>  
> Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares
> why?  The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
>  
> Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
> beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
>  
> Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
>  
> Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road – it transcended
> it.

>  > Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
>  
> Colonel Sanders: I missed one?
>