Theos-Talk Archives (September 1997 Message tl00044)

Sorry to disappoint you, Ann, but I need to say a few words regarding
Tom's statistics.

Please note that this is only hypothetical, and is not necessarily what I
truly believe.

Good statistics regarding people's behavior are really hard to come by.
The reason why is that in order to do so, you have to watch a thousand
people or more 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Otherwise, you are only
relying on honesty.  When it comes to abuse, how many people do you think
are going to be honest about it?

If you called up a home and asked the husband, "Do you beat your wife?",
what do you think he'll say?  "Oh yes, every night."  I doubt it.  If you
were to ask the wife, "Does your husband beat you?", once again, I doubt
that she would say "Yes."  If more women and men did that, there wouldn't
be any spousal abuse.  Now suppose we ask the wife, "Have you ever slapped
or hit your husband?"  Hmmm...she'd probably say yes.  Why?  Because such
an act is a lot less threatening.  Or seems to be.  I'm not trying to play
it down, I believe that both acts of violence are wrong.  I'm only saying
this with regards to your statistics.  It is more socially accepted that a
woman slaps a man than the other way around.  Therefore, a woman is more
likely to confess to such an act than a man would be.

Without looking at situations on a case by case basis, which point of view
do you think is more life threatening.  The man's when his wife slaps him,
or the woman's when her husband slaps her.  I don't know a whole lot about
weight and strength statistics, but I think I can generally say that the
average man weighs more and packs more punch than his wife.

There are quite a few factors which would play into the honesty part of
your statistics.  For me to be able to take these staticstics as fact, I
need to know a few things.

In how many of these households did the man bring more money into the home
than the woman, which is one of the main reasons why most women do not
turn in their abusive husbands.

In how many households was the man stronger than the woman?

With regards to the child abuse, who spent more time with the children?
The man or the woman?

There are a few others, but I think these are probably most important.

---
Jaqi.