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Crank call

Jul 30, 1997 09:50 AM
by K. Paul Johnson

Hi gang--

Yesterday I got a weird call from a Theosophist I had seen once
for about 5 minutes in the last 9 years.  We had never been
friends, but had attended some conferences in the 1980s.
Herewith my reconstruction (C is for caller).  BTW the call
came right at dinner time, which made me think it must be a
long-distance company.  But I answered anyhow.

P: Hello.
C: Is this Paul Johnson?  This is the CIA (long pause), no it's
P: Yeah, I recognized your voice.
C: I'm seeing your name a lot in different places, talking
about your book in reference books.
P: Reference books?
C: Well, not really reference books, but like X (Cites obscure
occult tome.)  Anyway, I was calling to find out exactly what
your position is on the Masters.
P: Beg pardon?
C: I want to know what you are trying to do, debunk the Masters?
(At this point I realize that the same person made the same
inquiries in another weird phone call in 1991 after my first
book came out.)
P: I just finished a book on Edgar Cayce, feel much more at
home in the ARE than I ever did in Theosophical groups, and am
not trying to do anything at all involving Theosophy.
C: Well, what *were* you trying to do?  Let me put it this way:
do you believe that the Theosophical teachings are true, or not?
P: Can't give a blanket answer to that; some are, some aren't.
I think that what HPB was attempting to accomplish was good and
worthwhile, though.  Look, I'm kinda busy right now...
C: But you probably have your own definition of what she was
trying to do.  So, what is your position on the Masters?  Are
there really Masters as depicted in Theosophical books?
P: That's a complicated question.  Have you read my books?
C: NO!  I don't WANT to read them!
P: Well, I don't want to explain them to you if you don't want
to read them.
C: Goodbye Paul, you're still a prick.

This guy may be notorious for weird phone calls to people he
hasn't seen or spoken to in years, for all I know.  Was a ULT
member last I knew.  I'm just reporting the conversation as an
example of the bizarre expectations people have of authors.
Expecting someone to explain his writings to you because you
are too hostile towards him to read them yourself really takes the
cake.  Not the first such treatment I've gotten from a ULT
member, by the way.


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