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Still connected

Jul 20, 1997 12:44 PM
by Annette Rivington

Just to say quickly that I'm doing some research before further comment.

I've read the last 20 or so TheosL Digests and have skimmed the Secret
Doctrine, 4 Pamphlets of Articles, Introductory Study Course parts 1 and
2 and am half way through T de Ch.  I'm in research, questioning and
listening mode (again).  I hope you people do not mind me reading your
conversations.  I find a lot of wisdom, homour and life-force type stuff
in your communications and "watching" you debate the issues is helping
me to understand more about life.
I am not a member of any Theosophical Society and had to find out about
it before I could say any more than before.  After all I did attack your
organization, or at least the affects of it that I experienced through
the actions of one person.  I predict that I am going to enter another
period of revaluation of all that I thought I knew so well!  I am
looking forward to it this time.  Partly because I don't have to "throw
the baby out with the bath water", and because I'm learning how to be
kind to myself in the process.  I now think that all my life I have been
trying to make things "black or white", to make it easy for me, so I
could say to myself "there, that explains that, now let's just get on
and do it".  It seems to me now that part of a philosophy of life like
that is the result of perceived competition for resources ( I'm just as
good as and as important as you and deserve the same as you) and of fear
of the unknown (I'm a child all alone in a complex world that I can't
possibly understand all about so I must make myself the centre of that
world in order to be safe).  The events of the past few weeks and your
comments have really made an impact.  I see others grappling with the
issues too.  Seeking a balance between everyday physical life and
infinity and needing to feel comfortable in both.
I hope that this thought will help free me finally from the confines of
"time" and from "beating myself up" when I constantly appear to fail.
In other words, now is definitely the time for me to "put my money where
my mouth has been" and to start walking the talk.

Peter is talking about leaving the TTS?  He will not tell me why.  I do
not believe it was my actions lately that caused that.  At least I hope
not!  He is mostly packed ready to leave, but I am going to call his
bluff this time and encourage him to do whatever he feels is right for
him.  His comment was that I should join the Society because I think
naturally like its basic philosophy.  My comment, as you know, is that
anyone seeking spirituality and the "truth" in conjunction with a basic
respect for all life, will "naturally" think and act within the tenets
of any philosophy that supports these things.  In my readings, I was
surprised to read about what happened to HPB, but not surprised at all
by all the organizational disappointments.  It has been obvious to me
for a long time, and much of the basis of my belief in "energy", that
certain people who are totally connected to something greater than
normal express an energy and passion that manifests and causes change.
When those people leave, their energy goes with them, and those left to
carry on can only do what they manifest according to their stage along
the path to the "truth".  This energy and passion can be enjoyed by all
associated with the energy giver, but it does not "rub off" on others
and it can only be replaced by others who have reached the same stage of
development.  Hence, my self-deduced "religion" that:
a) everyone has to reach this highly developed stage of spirituality by
"coming to it" themselves rather than following some leader or doctrine,
and this is the goal of our lives here, and
b) until everyone reaches this level, and can maintain it within
themselves without leadership or "blind faith" in some doctrine, the
"truth" will not be achieved on this earth.

What I have yet to figure out is how and whether the actions and
writings of any who went before are relevant to this process, other than
evidence of the process and interesting historical stuff, and whether
they may, infact, be a "temptation" for us to stop our individual
process and say that someone else found the "truth" and all we have to
do is to follow it.  Have to digest the concept of Masters and Atlantis
and all the other "wierd" stuff.  Until I reach the next level of
understanding, I remain constant in my current thought that every person
is born in and with the truth, with all the capabilities of
understanding everything and that "life" is a process of rediscovery and
Must get back to work.  Will keep listening and I wish you all a good
Summer and take care of yourselves.

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