Re: who. how
May 23, 1997 11:52 AM
by Jaqtarin Samantha Triele
A friend asked me once, "Do you understand to manipulate, or manipulate to
understand?" It has taken me a couple of years to figure out what he was
talking about. My answer to him then was "I manipulate to understand." I
finally figured out, about two months ago, that he left out, "or do you
just understand" on purpose. In everything I did, there was a
manipulation in one form or another. A manipulation of words. Or of
purpose. Then by manipulating those words and purposes I attempted to
find the truth. I had never thought to just stand back and watch. I had
to be right in the middle of it.
I think his question, although I didn't even remember his asking it until
two months ago, helped me a long way to understanding how people act and
react to others and their environment. Now I watch others. Then I watch
myself. I try to look at both sides of the coin, wear other people's
shoes, and then, if I feel comfortable with my conclusions, I step in.
And like I said, if I have to stop caring, I'm doomed, because I never
will. I'll take on the pain that others feel, absorb it if I have to,
whether it makes me a better person or not. With respect to the above,
I've always been this way. I've always had good intentions. It's just
that now I don't let my ego get in the way of everything. I don't
automatically assume that I am right.
I can't say that this change has reaped any great reward as far as helping
people out, for my success record still falls short of my expectations.
However, I haven't made anything worse than it already was with this
change of view. I suppose that is a small, but wonderful, step in itself.
> >If I have to stop caring in order to help,
> Jaqui don't *ever* stop caring. That is the energy which drives your
> actions. What I try to do is care a lot, and with that caring try to
> understand what makes the person I want to help tick, and then I try to step
> back for a moment to figure out how best to help. And then I try to go to
> it, with everything I can put into it.
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