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Re: Friend to All

Dec 12, 1996 11:25 PM
by kymsmith

Einar wrote:

>I too have been browsing the list, and I must say that I am amazed at how
>far away it's discussion has been able to come from my personal notion of
>what brother/sister/mater/pater/family-hood - is, which core is so
>beautifully expressed in your "confession" abowe.

Why?  Families always quibble, logomachize, and just plain differ. Honesty
and the expression of one's pain or joy will never sit well with everyone.

>If someone tells me that I'm "a male chauvenist pig" (which might well be a

A fact? That's too bad. . .(I can't believe it, I can't believe it. .
.another one. . .and I'm all out of chocolate. . .)

> that statement describes only what goes on in that persons head,
>doesn't it?!

No, it does not.  People can be guilty of actions and words that hurt
another's feelings and/or body without it being "in that persons head."
Accepting a concept such as the ariya sacca (four noble truths) is one
thing, but we cannot hold all to that standard if they are not yet ready -
which is most people.

>- BUT! - If that statement stirs up some unpeasant feelings in
>MY mind, I should stop short and consider what it is in ME that reacts! - If
>I on the other hand truly KNOW that there is nothing to it - then I won't
>react at all and moreover I would not bother to engage in a useless
>discussion on the statement.

How does one really "KNOW that there is nothing to it"? Is it useless if
someone's feelings are genuinely hurt?  They may not consider it "useless"
and not bothering to address it may cause more harm than the original
offense did.

>Please try to listen with care and compssion to what "our family" has to say
>on this list, and bear in mind that everyone is entitled to his own views.

And hers, please.

>As long as you are free not to subscribe to them, they will not harm you.
>Only if you get attached, or react to what others say, in a positive OR a
>negative way, will it influence you.

Again, I believe 'anatta' (no-self) is only for those who truly understand
it.  It's too easy to ignore suffering when one adopts that frame of mind
without the necessary wisdom.

This discussion list is not a dead, cold, impersonal thing; it is alive with
people, and their emotions, thoughts, and ideas.  The recent
arguments/discussions (sexism, brotherhood, sexual purpose) are all
theosophy; they are theosophy in action.  Carrying out the garbage is
theosophy (or maybe that's Zen). Maybe it does get too mean sometimes but
will anything get accomplished if we all start singing Kumbuya?  Maybe it
will.  I have found the harae ritual useful after a "blasting."

Heads up, though!  If I see posts I feel are sexist, or prejudiced, or
anything else ripe with rot. . .my yap will flap.  Free speech is one of the
few things on this planet who prides itself on being no one's friend.


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