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From the Agnisvattas to Barney

Nov 14, 1996 04:33 PM
by Art House


Mr. Keith Price:
>Very soon, the President of the United States will address the
>Nation. He will tell us that Extraterrestrial life exists - not
>merely bacteria from Mars, but living, sentient beings.

As all X-Fileys know, "The Truth is Out There."

>If you met Jesus today, what would you say to him?

We'll probably walk widely around him, hoping he doesn't ask us for
spare change or preach to us that the world is ending.

>I love you! You love me! _ sings the purple dinosaur.  Purple is warm
>and fuzzy and spiritual like a water logged sprite, the repitilian gaze
>of Barney is like a Fife

There is a document circulating on the internet requesting signatures to
save Big Bird.  We Must Save Big Bird!

>I wonder if there is a sperm bank cum dating service on the internet yet, where
>you can pick your mate with appropriate web page graphics, overnight a sperm
>sample  and have a surrogate mother.   Cyberparents, what a concept.   It could
>make babies, it could make money?  Who knows?!

All that is being done now without the internet.  Who'd ever thought not
eating together as a family unit during dinner time would lead to this.

>Rabbi's are called into to discuss the benifts of liposuction around the second
>chakra, enlarging the engourged first chakra and a double dose of reshifted
>energy to the pectoral heart areas.  Psychic surgery is performed on the face
>area giving all a great sense of inner beauty, serenity and sense of interior
>design not to mention an added 10% to the Master agents.

I had my tits lifted, and I can tell you that the rays from my heart
chakra now easily aim toward a higher plane, with all the love of man
directed towards me!

>Am I channeling Kerouac or what?

Let's start a band of roving bongo theosophist poets lead by you, Keith,
followed by the loquacious limeys.  That way, we can attract the coffee
house set (I wonder what Madame Blavatsky would have looked like in a
skintight black leotard doing an imitation of Audrey Hepburn's Parisian
cafe dance scene?  Ooh, baby....).  Can't you see just see Leadbeater
bringing up the rear accompanied by beautiful boy dancers from
"Sprockets".  We could call the band The NeoTheoniks.

(Plays Bongo Wildly) {;-)>  "Yeah, man...I can dig it..."

TTT S=oD

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