Theos-Talk Archives (March 1995 Message tl00190)

This morning's epiphany-while-driving-to-work, which is not what
you think from the header.  Thanks, Eldon for your wisdom.

Yesterday's mail brought a real consciousness-raiser, which only
Eldon's advice enabled me to appreciate.  It was a copy of a
letter whose author had protested to The Quest editor the
publication of Joy Mills's review of The Masters Revealed.  Some
illustrative excerpts:

"This has been given space in your review columns as though it
had a decent standing and validity.  Unfortunately it does not...
a myth that is entirely his own creation...derision, prejudice,
and ignorance...superficial curiosity, wonder seeking, and an
almost total incomprehension...the holy names of the benefactors
of mankind: the Mahatmas, are again dragged through the slime of
an untutored if not malicious mind...not an honest
book...incompetent and untutored deride and attempt to abase the
source of that wisdom and philanthropy which sustains, and is the
real substratum of our progress..inexactitude and the horror it
inflicts...profess to know more than Col.  Olcott and
HPB...soul-dazzling falsehoods about these Great Teachers...wish
to make their living off sensationalism and untruths...not to be
trusted...claim to be authors...seek notoriety..."

Eldon comes into the picture because while driving to work today
I thought to myself "I wonder how Eldon would find something to
uplift and inform me in this hate letter." And with the thought,
immediately came the answer, which has to do with bats.  I
recalled that in the late 80s, when I lived in a big old house
with 7 fireplaces, I also got a job directing a library in a
converted warehouse.  One night, something started flying around
my bedroom, which initiated a series of attempts on my part to
see the thing, which I gradually realized was a bat.  I'd turn on
the light, and it would vanish.  Go out the room, turn the light
off, and it would start flying.  Rush in, turn the light on-- no
bat anywhere.  All this was accompanied by total horror-- blood
running cold, disgust, fear, you name it.  I was just overwhelmed
with bat phobia.  Ended up never finding the bat, and changing
bedrooms.  Shortly thereafter came the job change.  It turns out
the place is infested with bats, and whenever one starts flying
around the library the all-female staff starts shrieking and
coming to me to solve the problem.  It took about 5 times of
catching bats and releasing them outside before the phobia was
gone and I could see them as they were-- gentle, beautiful
creatures who ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time and
inspired fear and hatred.  I grew fond of the little things.  And
wondered why I or anyone else ever reacted to them like they were
demons from hell.

Recalling this, I realized that my reaction to getting
Theosophical hate mail was physiologically identical to the first
bat encounter.  Total horror, fight or flight, etc.  And the cure
therefore would also be the same.  Repeated exposure leading to
desensitization.  So I read and reread the letter and before
long-- my horror of being hated by Theosophists because of my
book just vanished, replaced by a compassionate respect for the
source of my phobic reaction.

Somewhere HPB says that fate delivers to us the one thing we
think we can't bear.  For me, that was being hated by
Theosophists for the books that were a labor of love.  But there
are good reasons we get what we most dread, and I'm working on
understanding them.

What I can see in that letter is also identical to the bat
reaction.  Total revulsion, kill-it-or-flee-from-it,
this-is-a-demon-from-hell stuff.  And so, when I read it, I feel
the pain of someone confronted with an unbearable phobic
stimulus.  And hope that he progresses toward a resolution of his
fears, as I try to work on mine.

So, Eldon, your words of wisdom struck home, and I thank you.