a chaos xmas
Dec 03, 1997 10:32 AM
found this on Zee-List.
Chuck the Heretic
Not long ago or so far far away, Santa was making preparations for his
annual trip, attempting to deal with the stress of too many problems at
once. Four of his elves had fallen ill after engaging in a flame war with
some crazee chaoz mages and toy production had fallen well behind schedule.
Santa had attempted to augment the elf toys with imports from China, but
El Nino was spawning freak storms in the northern Pacific and causing
severe shipping delays. On top of this, Rudolf had gotten both Dancer and
Prancer pregnant so they would not be able to help pull the sleigh on
As Santa massaged his forehead worrying and wondering what else could
possibly go wrong this year, Mrs. Claus came into his office, beaming,
"Santa, I have good news. Mother will be visiting for the holidays. Oh,
by the way, the sleigh shop called and said you need new runners, but
they'll need a deposit before they can order them."
Frustrated, feeling his blood pressure rising, Santa went to his liquor
cupboard for a shot of whiskey only to find that the elves had cleaned it
out while entertaining their cousins from Orlando the previous evening. He
checked his stash box, but that too was empty.
Feeling like he was near the breaking point and that he might snap if he
saw another smiling cherubic face, Santa put on his coat intending to take
a long walk. But when Santa opened the door to leave he was met by a tiny
angel holding a large Christmas tree. Smiling beatifically, the angel
asked, "Where would you like me to put this tree, Santa?"
And that, my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the
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