Theos-Talk Archives (November 1997 Message tl00143)

Nicole:

>To Eldon: "Of course, there are exceptions, times when we need to be
>ourselves in certain ways regardless of how others react."
>
>I can not understand that because I always need to be myself in all ways.
>Maybe you wish to explain?

When I mention being ourselves regardless of how others react,
I'm referring to situations where we have to act a certain way,
to behave in a certain role, to do certain things even though
there may be a battle of wills, a conflict with the other person.
An example would be when a parent says to a child "you must go
to bed at 8 PM!" Another would be when a rude or offensive
person is finally told to shut up or hold their temper. A 
third would be when a Guru responds to a disciple in totally
unexpected and shocking ways.

When being ourselves, regardless of how others react, we're
taking on roles that may create conflict. This is different
than, say, always just being what the other person wants.

You're right in a deeper sense that we are always ourselves,
regardless of who we're with and how we're responding to them.
My comment was not looking at it as deeply, but rather referring
to how we tend to be a certain way in life, living out certain
roles -- like father, husband, employee, etc. -- and then
dropping or putting those roles aside in some situations. But
there are other situations where we *don't* drop or put aside
certain roles, even if others don't like it.

-- Eldon