May 19, 1997 02:06 AM
by Jaqtarin Samantha Triele
Krishnaji's speech was definitely an eye opener. I have read about the
things he had spoken of in many different writings, however, his use of
examples, as always, has made everything much clearer.
Honesty, as he describes it, is not a trait of which I possess. There are
too many contradictions in my life. As far as insight is concerned, I
have never had anything close to a "thoughtless" act which did not turn
out to be a big mistake. Everything I do is thought out first. I
remember my parents saying, "Think twice before you..." and it makes me
wonder, 'Were they wrong?' Not really.
It appears that insight is not just action without thought. But
thoughtless action without regard to the future of that action. For
example, Krishna's advice to Arjuna in the Gita during his moral dilemma
was much the same. It was his duty. Think nothing of it. Do it, and go
on. However, this was insight as the first step to acquiring it, I think.
Krishnaji seemed to say this in his speech. You have to rid yourself of
the contradictions before insight may come into being.
I don't know if I can rid myself of these contradictions. I have to be
able to say, "I did this because...". If I don't, I feel guilty about
being irresponsible and I fear that others will think of me as being so.
It seems to me that the only way to rid oneself of contradiction is to
stop caring. The Catch-22 is that caring is a part of being sensitive,
and Krishnaji states that sensitivity is a requirement for the acquisition
of insight... Another contradiction exists already.
Can one be sensitive toward others and not care at the same time? Perhaps
this has a little to do with the impersonal/personal argument. Can one be
impersonally sensitive? If not, then what?
If I have to stop caring in order to help, then I probably will never get
anywhere with my own evolution. However, I want to help everything
"ascend". How can I do that without understanding what evolution is all
about? I believe this is that line where "book smart" and "experience"
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