Theos-Talk Archives (January 1997 Message tl00682)

>Kym:
I agree with your additional observation.  Women have been taught to regard
their bodies with contempt. What is happening to women in the Middle East is
beyond horrific.  America, too, in its own way, mocks the female body.
Women need to learn to feel good about their bodies, restore respect and pride.

However, there will come a day when Madonna's body fails to attract what she
desires or sends the message she desires.  Madonna's image, perceived by
young girls, does not hold in high esteem the value of cerebral cultivation.
Madonna may find her power fleeting, and she may have to "deal with it."
The health of the body and the health of the mind are vitally important;
however, the body is secondary, it should serve the mind.  I fear that too
many young women are internalizing the opposite reasoning.  
**********
Thoa:
Yes, young women are focusing too much on how to attract a man instead of
focusing on their self-development.  However, from what I heard, all that is
on a young man's mind is attracting the opposite sex (I apologize for not
mentioning homosexual relationships, but I am focusing on the man-woman
thing).  I've heard from some men that during their adolescence, women
terrify the Jesus out of them.  To go through the first stage of attraction,
they both are concerned with how to make their bodies attractive to the
opposite sex according to the dictates of society of what an attractive body
is. The norm used to be young men pump iron and become jocks, and young
women curl their hair, wear makeup and fitted clothing.  For young men, due
to the media hype of rock stars and bad boys, the attraction changed toward
wild skinny young men (Maybe with the computer generation, the attraction
norm will be the Bill Gates type.  That type made Ann swoon.=o))  However,
young men also had the added incentive of being encouraged into a good
education and a good career.  

Unfortunately for young women, the attraction factor has remained more or
less the same.  Beauty magazines of the past feature dainty, bodily
proportional, skinny, young women.  Beauty magazines of the present feature
dainty, bodily proportional, skinny, young women.  Although there were
attempts to feature older women and athletic women, the norm remains the
same.  There are no women with big hips, there are no women past 30, there
are no women over 120 lbs., there are no short women, and there are few
non-white women.  The focus is woefully more on fitting the ideal physical
instead of on developing the intellect or the creative side.  It's no wonder
that women dieted down to beyond their normal weight, have breast implants,
wrinkles removed, liposuction, and 3" spiked heels that hurt their spine and
feet.

To make up for the oppression of having to fit into the beauty norm, the
moral norm, or the subservient norm, women responded in several ways.  Women
such as Madonna rebelled against her Catholic background by becoming
athletic, lusty, and sacrilegious.  Women in the corporate environment
became just as overworked, domineering, and insensitive as their male
counterparts.  Being a bitch became a thing to be proud of.  Some women
forgo wearing makeup, shaving their legs, and a need for male companionship.
Some women deny qualities considered feminine such as emotion, sensitivity,
and nurturing.  Denying all those "feminine" qualities enables them to deny
that we are in what is considered a "patriarchal" society that encourages
power, dominance, and intellect over the intuitive.  This enables the women
to say that to succeed, they have to have power, dominance, and the
intellectual over the intuitive.

IMO, this also is off-balanced.  Any human being needs a balance of the
body, the intellect, and the creative.  If any of it is denied, there will
be extreme consequences.  A young woman growing up nowadays receive many
confused signals.  She is confused by her mother, who tells her that she
should be a decent girl, that she should develop good housewifely skills to
keep her man, that she should look attractive in order to catch a husband,
that she should be realistic with her career goals, that she needs to
prepare herself to be a good wife and mother.  She is also confused by
examples set by her mother, particularly if her mother constantly defers to
her husband in decision making, puts up with infidelity, or puts up with
abuse.  The young woman is also confused by feminists.  She feels guilty if
she has a need to make herself attractive to men.  She feels guilty if she
is attracted to men, and thinks often of them.  The young woman is confused
by the sexual female image given out by female stars such as Madonna.
Should she wear bras in public, and flaunt her sexuality?  Should she show
that sexy attitude?  Is she being too prudish?  

I think that a woman nowadays is realizing that the key is for her to
respect herself, do what she feels comfortable with, and disregard what
societal opinions are.  She can love her breasts, her vagina, and her
ovaries.  She can be attractive in ways that are comfortable to her, even if
that way causes men to gaze at her.  She can strive for a rewarding career
without having to give in to bitchiness.  She can use her intuitive and
community sense as an asset to her career.  She can freely express her
opinions.  She can have a rewarding, sharing and loving relationship with a
man.  She can have wonderful sex with a man in which she tells him her
sexual needs.  She can be nurturing to her children along with her husband.
She and her husband can do the cooking and housekeeping together.  She can
have such a love for her body, her intellect, and her creative, that when
old age hits, she would have grown into a richer and attractive older woman.