Theos-Talk Archives (January 1997 Message tl00362)

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> From: Eldon B. Tucker <eldon@theosophy.com>
> 
> It's possible to deflate certain ideas, or defuse an explosive
discussion,
> without getting into a personal fight.

I use that technique myself most of the time, but there are individuals who
have no use for that and come out screaming in the hope that someone
will scream back.  Perhaps this is the "wake me up" technique of people
who are yearning to stay up all night via adrenalin.
 > 
> Also, given the wide spectrum of views we have on the list, it's possible
> to have all extremes represented. I don't expect people to generally
> change their views to accord with the majority, but would expect people
> to learn more respectful ways of self-expression, that result in an
> exchange of ideas and positive interchanges, rather than a bringing up of
> barriers and bitter fights. 

There's the part that rubs me raw.  "I . . . would expect people to learn
more respectful ways of self-expression,"  What if your expectations are
never realized and certain individuals cling to their ways?  I personally
don't expect anyone to be anything than what they are, even if they
are flame-throwers on the Net.  Not one of us has the right to "expect"
another person to change.  We can hope, but "expecting" is taking away
that person's freedom to make their own decision about their own
behavior.
> 
> Learning to be more careful about writing is a lesson we've all learned
> as we participate in these discussions. Your confrontations of him may
> help Tom accelerate the process whereby he acquires greater diplomacy,
> subtly, and interpersonal insight in his writings. And perhaps if Richard
> Ihle steps in, he'll get accelerated practice in wit and dry humor.

Are we sending Tom to charm school here?  Grooming him in the
arts of cyberspeak so that he'll post sweet as sugar?

Perhaps he represents the dark side that we are forced to confront
through his viewpoints and flame-bait.  A mailing list without some
controversy or conflict is going to be boring as Hades.  Any
individual that come onto the list with opposite opinions becomes
the Trickster that we need to make things run.

My two cents.

-AEB