Theos-Talk Archives (September 1995 Message tl00457)

As I begin to ponder the workings of today both within
and outside of my heart, I am compelled to express who I am
to those that do not know me.

Truth rather elusive and during most of my youth not wanted.
Or at least I determined to create and form my own brand
of truth which declared that if I stole or hurt, it would be the
system and hopefully not a person that would be the victim.

Out of the abundance of the heart...the mouth speaks. Little
did I realize that I was the one that was the victim.

As age increased my knowledge increased and my foolishness
increased. I was living a double minded life.

At two score and four a line was drawn in the sand. I had
experienced the power of the mystics and the elusion of the
tarrot. I had successfully crushed men who were twice my
size and stature through the power of Chi. The material
needs were met and the authority of the government
rested on my shoulders. I was a man with power, money
and authority.

Ahh success.

But the truth unfolds clearly in a password for the tippy top
secrets that I have access to. Daniel's desired password used
to read the traffic of the world was LOSTLOST.

Ohh yes. Power, money and authority provide no avenue
for true security, peace or happiness.

I was as empty as I could be. At the same time that I could
drink Yukon Jack with a 7-up back and never leave the pool
table, was the same time that emptiness was devouring me.

The line was drawn. An unknown friend challenged me.
If you were to die today. Do you know whether or not
you would go to heaven?

Without a tradition or biblical wisdom I responded to the
affirmative.

I believed God was good God and that I was at least 51%
pure.

I'm in.

The response was clear. The cross was revealed. Christ's
salvation presented and the blood poured over my life.

In one instant of a faithfilled prayer, I asked Jesus to
forgive me, and to cleanse me.

I was not seeking truth, I was needing love. It is clear
to me that He chose me.

As I type this letter, you will respond in a manner which
I do not subscribe. You may be saying that my interpretation
or my desire of fulfilling the spiritual is gathered in a
tradition or an idol, but that inner truth and enlightenment
occured and occurs simularly in all people regardles of
culture, time or tradition.

But as I have said before...Jesus lives in me. I hear Him,
clearly, not as often as I would like, but none the less
I hear Him.

The evidence of faith ...(to be continued)