Theos-Talk Archives (December 1994 Message tl00161)

Dear Jerry,

I don't think we're going to solve anything by getting into
another confrontation, you & me.  They haven't worked for 90
years, nor was anything accomplished by the late (may it rest in
peace) confrontation between Paul & myself.  I'm looking - have
been looking - for a different way to come to an agreement.  It's
necessary to take a different tack, not slug it out.  I remember
that much about the workings of conflict resolution, or maybe
Serge refreshed my memory at the workshop last year.  (He's
improved his delivery over the years, don't you think?) During
these last procedings I've been throwing out a few lines re
trying out different ways, but, so far, no takers.  Maybe my
suggestions aren't acceptable to the others.  Maybe someone else
can come up with a better rational, sensible way to go, that all
of us can agree to ...  Maybe John Crocker, or Murray, or Art,
who, I think might be doing this kind of thing in his everyday
work, or Eldon, or April, or you.  ..  someone on this net must
have some feasible ideas about how to settle this amicably
without scratching each other's eyes out.  You say "communication
starts with accepting people from where they're at".  Well,
that's where I'm at.  I'm looking for another way, besides each
hacking at the other, to come to a mutually acceptable agreement
about these matters.  & that's where I'm at; that's where I'll
communicate from.  Not from another confrontation which only
wastes time & energy.  I have neither to spare for more lessons
in futility.  I don't think you do either.  "Let's not, & say we
did." Shall we?

I guess for our lighter side, we've chosen cats.  One of my
favorite subjects.  After the touching way you nursed Loki as a
very tiny kitten, you must love her very much.  They're such
cute, soft little fuzz balls.

Aren't they fun to watch when they frolick, run as fast as they
can, turn summer saults, chase little bugs, or get all tangled up
in a ball of wool? They're a trip + 1/2.  On the other side, it
seems that Californians are no less charitable in disposing of
their unwanted kittens than are New Yorkers.  One of my son,
Dave's, clients found Chouchou in a ditch mid July a year ago.
She was about 6 weeks old, pure white, with pink ears & nose, and
a white & orange striped tail.  She had 2 infections around her
throat choking her.  One was full of maggots.  The people who
found her didn't want her, but left her with Dave who's a vet, &
nursed her back to health.  Besides sometimes caring for stray
cats & dogs, (they must have a good 30 of them running around the
grounds of their back country farm house/clinic), they also try
to heal wildlife that people bring in.  I remember 1 owl with a
healed a broken wing.  Upon being set free she came flying back
for some meat every evening at 6 to the same upstairs window.
She was beautiful.  To see an owl that close by! Anyway, I'd just
gotten over grieving for my 1st cat, Mysty, & we decided on
frisky Chouchou as a replacement.  I got her at about 12 weeks.
At first she was a real hellion.  I guess she was happy to be
freed from her kennel.  She banged around on the beads of my room
divider all night, threw over my Christmas tree, & bit whenever
you tried to touch her.  I was on the verge, several times, of
telling Dave to take her back.  1 1/2 years later now she's all
pleasure.  She lets you pick her up for a few minutes when you
tell her "Come here, I want to give you a hug".  She's very
obedient for a cat, and not because I hit her.  I don't believe
in that.  She lets you know when she doesn't like something (I
think she should), but she doesn't bite anymore.  Her favorite
toy is a spit ball, a wrinkled up slip of scrap paper or cough
drop wrapper.  She can dribble that as good as any soccer or
hockey player.  Also stop the spit ball with her paw, when it
comes her way.  She also enjoys chasing the reflection the sun
makes on my warch, when I throw it against the wall or carpet.
She knows that it somehow comes from the watch, (she sniffs at
it) .  & that we're playing a game.  She usually sleeps a few
feet away from where I happen to be, but she also accepts that I
leave her at times.  Before I go, she gets the blessing Serge
taught us to give, to keep people & things safe in our absence.
She loves to watch TV, and she thinks the apartment belongs to
her.  I keep on telling her, "yes, as long as I pay the rent."
but I don't think she quite believes me.  I wouldn't trade her
for anything.  Bet you wouldn't trade yours either.

Shanti

Liesel