Theos-Talk Archives (November 1993 Message tl00090)

Nancy Coker:
     I would like to add a bit more to your question of the importance
of our personal history and our childhood experiences.  I just finished
a book by Pia Mellody, FACING CODEPENDENCE (Harper Collins, 1989) where
she says, "I tell evey patient I treat, "The secret to your recovery is
to learn to embrace your own history.  Look at it, become aware of it,
and experience your feelings about the less-than-nurturing events of
your past.  Because if you don't, the issues from your history will be
held in minimization, denial, and delusion and truly be behind you as
demons you are not aware of. And this situation will continue  to make
you miserable through your own dysfunctional behaviors.""" (p XXIII -
XXVI)
     This book was given to me by the Dept of Social Services for
Harford County, Maryland, as part of my training for being a theraputic
foster parent. But Mellody uses her own past problems to help others,
and her theories are generally accepted by theraptists and
psychologists. The central problem is that unless we are fully
conscious of our past, we will tend to repeat the same mistakes over
again. Children from dysfunctional families tend to have dysfunctional
families themselves, and so on.
                                                    Jerry S.